Friday, June 17, 2011

Mast Brothers Chocolates, New York

Six months ago I couldn't even spell 'hipster', but now I've been scorned by them, repeatedly, and bought their chocolate. Look, it's Mast Brothers, "we're so green we ship our beans by sailboat".

Seriously, what's up with Brooklyn? Why is it that when we go into the tasting room / retail outlet of MB's factory, the skinny, bearded crewmembers barely look up from their communal lunch of organic greens to give us blank, unwelcoming stares?

The can kiss my tucchus, and pass the samples. On offer today were the salt, coffee (Stumptown. Artisanal hipsters gotta stick together.) and maple walnut. And roasted cocoa nibs.

To my untrained tongue they had some common features, and I'm pretty sure this is the (organic, no additives, no non-smug ingredients) style they're trying to work in: grainy, with a distinct sourness. I'm pretty sure that this expresses the characteristics of the beans, but it's not terribly approachable.

In fact, someone summed up the flavor profiles by saying "I don't like this very much." I bought two bars (coffee, hazelnut), mostly out of obligation to support artisanal hipsters, because I like what they're trying to do even as I hate myself for liking it.
Still, if this is what single-origin, organic, sustainable, cruelty-free smug chocolate tastes like, I'll be over with the guys at Bernachon. They're also bean-to-bar, but they have a special formula that includes a lot more deliciousness than the Masts' product.

I can swallow a little organic cruelly as long as its coated in deliciousness.
(718) 388-2625

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